Even in laughter, the heart may aches.


is bleeding and bleeding and bleeding, when will the hurts be remove and heal?

i cant hide the hurts in my heart, is so painful.

i was in great depression last week, kept eating non stop even though i know that i am super full.
even the food is suck, i still eat like nobody businese. i dont care about how much weight i'll put on, all i do is eat and eat and eat. is scary, i know.

last sunday, after had lunch with shiao en, i walked her back to her house. while i was walking to the bus stop to take bus, i saw swing. then i went to take a sit over there alone and started swinging here and there. is kinda weird for me to do that alone cos in the first place i wont want to sit there alone, but i eventually i sat there alone. when i sat there, i thought a lot. sometimes i cant even recognize myself anymore. where's the joy in me? i used to be very joyful. i suddenly feel so no confidence in myself, so lousy and useless. fat & ugly too.


i know i cannot go on like this anymore, soon i'll lead into even greatest depression and die.
so this week, i'm trying to be more happy? but sadness still sank into my heart, all i can do is pray. i know i can go thru it. cos the joy of the lord shall be my strength. all i need now is.. love;joy;peace&patience.

i need to dwell in the love's of God, so i can forget all hurts.
i need joy, so i can be joyful in all i do?
i need peace, so i can guard my heart once again.
i need patience, so i can patiencely wait for God's promises.