surrender

Well, through the camp, God taught me something.
God taught me how to surrender. Hmmm.. Is not easy to surrender. What i mean is.. Surrender my everything, even when I'm in the most worst down time. This is the hardest thing to surrender for me. because i always like to act strong in front of others and even God, not to even cry before God. Keep everything within myself, even my dark little secret. well, God actually know. He know everything, even just a small small thing, He also know. so i cant hide. He hear the cry in my heart. Ps David prayed for me, he said that God hear the cry of my heart. Then i started to cry and scream as loud as i want that makes me feel better. Because i have been control my tears for so long. God touches me once again. After cried, i felt so good. its had been so long, i never have a good cry already, the holy spirit lead me to cry, let go of everything. No shame crying before God, He hold my tears in his hands. He can feel it.

even my world is falling apart, i'll never let my savior go... i love you dad. (: