my life

Realising ever since i started working, i changed a lot.
i mean in character and thinking? Maybe more mature?
There are good and bad. Life in working and schooling are different.
Well, Schooling is definitely more fun and happy. As for working, you've to be more realistic. The world is realistic, so i've to be realistic too... thats when i became more strong and independant.

As i grow older, i have to deal with so many things on my own. Sometimes how i wish that i can still be in 15,16,17 years old. No need to trouble over so many things in life. Everything is prepare by your parents whereas now i've to prepare everything i do. My future, my path road..where should i go? I feel like im standing at the cross road like a little gal of fearing where to cross. Afraid will get hit by car.

God always want me to be independant, deal everything myself until when i cant make it and fall flat down then he will come and pick me up. Thats when "when im weak, You are strong" this sentance come in.

Somehow, i feel that im losing hope in guys. But that doesnt mean i dont drool on guys. Haha, i still does.

last year there are 3 man came into my life. All this is just "ai mei" kind of feelings.*not into relationship one.

1st: Mr MIA. (lasted 3 months)
We talk and sms almost everyday and we went out whenever i off and before or after work.. Everything went so well... then out of the suddenly... "blow by the wind, wooos.. Just gone". I dont know what when wrong, until today i still dont know what happened. Anyway is the past.

2nd: Mr Unassured. (lasted 3 months)
Everthing went very sweet and well, but sweet doesnt mean is good.'Cause there's no assurance in it. He dont know what he want, i dont want to wait for it any longer so i let go. Thanks God, i didnt cry in front of him though i felt that my tear was going to burst out. i dont want to show that "im weak".

3rd: Mr Unexpected. (lasted not even a month)
The one that lasted not even a month, but the most painful one i guess.
When he acted like nothing happen, i feel like a fool. I mean all this while, the msges i received that time is all by "ghost"? or another side of him. Oh whatever. That's the past. Well, I still treat him as friend by the grace of God. Sometimes i wonder if he's not a christian, probably i will slap him and give him a kick. oops.HAHA.

This year came in "Mr Player" (as friend) LOL. see who will be next..


I been listening to Barlow Girl, is a Christian band.
They've very nice songs and the song lyrics. iloveit.