watched "alone" with arii on last friday.
was not bad. definitely scary to me! haha, when the whole cinema only got 3 pples watching that.
one unknown woman, arii and me. :/




took this pic with crissss on sunday...
lover her so muchhh..

been going home after work these few days,
i wanted to go out with my friends so much that i dont want to be alone.
but my friends are all not free. busy working and schooling.

know something, i hate to be alone.



trying to keep myself occupied with work and everything, just to make myself not to think so much. sometimes i been thinking what if i can work for 24/7, it will be better. or make myself very very tired then go home and just sleep then i wont have to think so much.



i feels that my heart is hurting badly.
that bleed and bleed.

BBQ @ JOJO'S HOUSE.

sunday, 22 july 2006; afternoon.

these are the photos that took, there're somemore in dennis's camera.

photos will speak it all. (:





getting ready to take photo. CANDID SHOT.
















thinking hard....









BBQ.



House-wife ready to be. :D




BBQ Chicken man.



MAKAN TIME.







PLAYING TIME.










PHOTO TAKING.





















oops.. dennis's head!!




When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile.









three pretty's gals (:

going jogging again. it will be my daily routin!.
really wanna lose weight but yet i still eat a lot.

soon i'll lead to depression...

BECAUSE... I AM ONE FAT ASS!.

can someone put me to death pls!
or starve me! RAAAA..

been not feeling that good these few days.
i mean emotional upset.
the more upset i am, i alway put up a crazy and happy front?
that will make me more happy? i think i need to accompany with peoples so i will not think too much and feels lonely and emptiness in me. though i know that God is with me, why should i feel lonely? but that is human nature.

i thought God send him to me? but realised that he's not the one?
all these years, i stopped open my heart to guy. cos i know that i'll be hurt. so i stop myself from falling in love with people i interested in and people that interested in me. i guarded my heart very well. but after knowing him, i opened my heart to him, mean i started to like him. we msg almost everyday and talked on the phone every night.

and now... we didnt contact each other anymore.

well, i dont know if i have regretted knowing him and open my heart to?.
why among all, i picked him?
it made me feel so sweet at that moment and now i'm feeling like shit and made me so lousy!!.

i'm feeling lousy that, how come i dont know how to keep/capture a guy's heart probably?

after this incident, this made me even stronger.
can i change to a bad person whose play around with pple's feeling or just accept anyone and go without God's will for me?. i wish i can...
but my holy spirit always stops me from doing that.
if i ever do that, that will not be me "jiawen".

Daddy, guard my heart once again.
whatever hurts that contant in my heart, you'll heal it and clear it away.
whatever evil thoughts, you'll wash it away.
BECAUSE i want to be pure before you.
i commite myself in your mighty hand. AMEN!


this shall be the end of story between him and me.


And with a smile i'll say my goodbyes. (:

am always admire people that who dare to love.
what i mean is...
they dare to accept a new relationship.
dare to try out and dare to let go if the relationship doesnt goes well.

realised if enter into a relationship,
you've to give, be patient, accept... etc.
these are the fews that is very important.
wondering how can master it?
it must be come from love first...
so that we can give and be patient and to accept everything about that person.

perhaps i havent find the one i willing to give all these three to..



And with a smile I'll say my goodbyes

where the sun never dies. -Blindside.

I think I saw a place in the distance
We've always known it was there
When I have breathed for the last time
I'll walk out to the end of that pier
There is that place in our conscience
So talk so loud so you won't hear and forget
But I'll still call it home

Where the sun never dies
Shine away my shadow
Where it's bright when I shut my eyes
I'll drink until I'm not thirsty
The sun never dies
Shine away my shadow
It's just waiting to rise

I'll see You on that day
When I walk those last steps Your way

There's something moving in the shadows
There is that rumor of hope
When the spirit starts roaring
For so long we have but no longer will we cope
Love is personified
I'd rather die in love
Than stay alive numb
I'll still call it home
I'm still longing home

Where the sun never dies
Shine away my shadow
Where it's bright when I shut my eyes
I'll drink until I'm not thirsty
The sun never dies
Shine away my shadow
It's just waiting to rise

I'll see You on that day
When I walk those last steps Your way
I'll see You on that day
When I walk those last steps Your way

this was send to me by my friend.

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet theperson, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.